The 5 Mistakes Families Make When Planning Legacy
And how to help your clients avoid them
Legacy planning isn’t just about what a family passes down—it’s about how they pass it on, why they pass it on, and who they’re becoming in the process. Yet even the most capable, well-resourced families often find themselves stuck, overwhelmed, or divided when it’s time to shape their legacy.
At Family Legacy By Design, we’ve spent years guiding families through this process—and we’ve noticed some common pitfalls that show up again and again. If you’re an advisor, coach, or family leader, recognizing these five mistakes can help you avoid them—and lead families into deeper clarity, unity, and impact.
1. Focusing Only on Finances
When most people hear “legacy planning,” they immediately think about wills, trusts, tax strategy, and wealth transfer. And while those are essential pieces, they’re just that—pieces. A family’s legacy is much bigger than money. It includes their values, stories, faith, and identity.
Too often, families focus so heavily on the technical side of the plan that they neglect the relational and emotional aspects. They miss the opportunity to ask questions like:
What does this wealth mean to our family?
What kind of people do we want the next generation to become?
What story do we want our legacy to tell?
The most successful families understand that financial clarity must be paired with formational conversations.
2. Ignoring Emotional Readiness
Some heirs inherit wealth before they inherit wisdom—and that rarely ends well. Legacy planning without emotional preparation leads to tension, confusion, and sometimes even estrangement.
Families need tools and space to process more than just their balance sheets. They need to process expectations, identity, and personal dynamics. Advisors often underestimate the emotional undercurrents at play, especially in multigenerational family systems.
Before you hand off a portfolio, consider helping the next generation answer:
What is my role in this family legacy?
How do I feel about the responsibility I’ve been given?
Who is walking with me to help steward it well?
3. Avoiding Difficult Conversations
Many families avoid hard conversations about legacy because they fear conflict, disappointment, or division. So instead of working through issues, they delay or delegate those conversations until it’s too late.
But here’s the truth: avoided conversations become future explosions.
The most unified families are the ones who choose to face the tension and talk it out—with guidance and grace. They set aside time to name unspoken expectations, address potential misalignment, and hear each other’s hearts.
Your role as an advisor or coach is often to create safe space for those conversations to begin.
4. Skipping the Spiritual Side
For families of faith, legacy isn’t just practical—it’s sacred. Yet many legacy plans don’t reflect that spiritual foundation.
They might transfer wealth effectively but miss the opportunity to transfer wisdom, faith, and mission.
Scripture reminds us that “a good person leaves an inheritance for their children’s children” (Proverbs 13:22), but that inheritance isn’t just financial. It includes values, beliefs, and a vision for living generously and purposefully.
Whether through guided conversations, family mission statements, or prayer-centered retreats, families must consider how to pass on who they are, not just what they own.
5. Planning in Isolation
The final mistake? Trying to do it alone.
Many families—and even advisors—attempt to navigate legacy planning without the support, structure, or outside perspective they truly need. But legacy is too important to leave to chance… or to a single conversation.
Families need a process. Advisors need a framework. And both need a guide.
At Family Legacy By Design, we walk alongside advisors and families with tools, coaching, and training that help legacy come to life—not just on paper, but in hearts, relationships, and decisions.
Ready to Go Deeper?
If you’re an advisor or family leader looking to avoid these mistakes and walk families through a more intentional process, we’d love to partner with you. Explore our coaching, tools, and events to begin building a legacy that lasts—by design, not by default.
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